i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
