I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sext me about skeletons
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
