Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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