Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
