i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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