I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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