Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
