He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
