this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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