oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
