lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
