Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
