five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
