thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize