I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
