It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
