Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
