I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
