is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize