a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize