Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I would ride that face into the sunset
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
