He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
