you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
