That's intense
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
