So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
