Michael Bay diarrhea
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So many bounce houses so little time
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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