last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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