Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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