Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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