I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
