My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
