Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
