i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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