I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm always down for nudity.
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