Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
