so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
