so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
