i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
