I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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