tell your sister to shave her snatch
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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