I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
