the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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