Already got asked if we're dating
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
