Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize