I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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