I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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