Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
