Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
