if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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