what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
