She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
