He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize