ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
