someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize