i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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