I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
