Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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