He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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