How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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