is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
